I don't even know where to begin. I love my baby boy like I have never loved anyone. I could stare at his sweet face all day (well, maybe except when he's screaming or crying which is often at this age). Most of the time despite being exhausted, I feel so much joy and am amazed when I think about how blessed we are and all the support & love we've received from family and friends. Admittedly though there have been a few times, more in the first few weeks, that I wanted to run away. The change is so immediate and so intense that I didn't know how to deal with it. I'm still trying to figure out what this new life will look like. Sometimes I find myself thinking that I can keep doing the things I've always done, the same way. I can fit in walking the dog, cooking, keeping the house clean, seeing friends, doing my hair & make up (well, let's be honest - taking a daily shower!), getting pedicures, maybe working out from time to time AND be this wonder mom, right? (Oh, and add to that list blogging and reading) Ha! It sounds ridiculous but I really do have those delusional moments and have to come to my senses and realize that life IS different, priorities have changed and it's GOOD. It's so hard but so wonderful.
It is still early days, I know that. I'm anticipating that regular 5 hour stretch of sleep, the predictable routine, less fussing at night. It will come, right? I'm torn. I know he won't be this small for long and he'll grow up too fast. I try to remember that when I'm holding him and memorize him just as he is.
Here are a few iPhone shots from the last 7+ weeks:
Post-epidural. Chillin'
Brand New Baby (No that's not my natural color, that would be a fever!)
Proud Papa
Ecstatic Grandmas
Ready to head home. We have no idea what we're in for!
First Bath
First Walk at Green Lake
Story time with Dad
Those pictures are awesome! I can't believe how totally relaxed he is during his first bath and how serious he is when Bill reads a story. Your baby boy is really handsome.
ReplyDeleteI hear you when you talk about change -though I've taken the opposite road: I think I can't do anything now! I hope Sam gets into a night time routine super soon. I can't believe he's already 7 weeks old. That's cah-ray-zee.
Keep on posting sister. Love to read your thoughts!
Yay! Welcome back! I can't believe Sam is almost 2 months already! Hopefully the 5-hr sleep stretches will be arriving any day now! And yes, welcome to Motherhood, the Land of Figuring Out What Your Real Priorities Are. You've already got the SuperMom thing going on (just ask Sam!), so you don't have to worry about that. It DOES get easier, but I think it will always be a balancing act (at least for the next 18+ years). So proud of you, SuperMama!
ReplyDeleteI've been so anxiously awaiting a blog update! Yay! I love all the pics...You've been on my mind EVERY day and I want to have a phone date with you!
ReplyDeleteOh friend, every mom can relate and just know, it WILL get easier and that 5 hour stretch is a comin'!! You have so many people aroudn who love you and want to help, I can't wait to get my mitts on that boy of yours!! 2 more months! xo
ReplyDelete