The book is made up not so much of chapters, but 100 different observations and reflections from 2nd (and 3rd and 4th) time parents who did things a little differently after their first child, although I'm guessing any parent who's made it through the first year would say many of the same things. Here are a few that are particularly relevant to me right now:
# 61 - "It's ok for you and baby to "do nothing" all day. You are no longer judged on how much you cross off the to-do list--you are accomplishing a major feat each day that you parent this new person. Hey, if you and your baby have been fed and are reasonably clean, you've done quite enough, thank you."
# 63 - "Parenthood can be extremely boring" (Gasp!) Sometimes it really does feel like Groundhogs day, when you're doing the same things over and over in 3 hour cycles and have little adult conversation. Some days are worse, some days are better.
# 65 - "You and your [husband] don't have to do everything the same way." Yeah, sometimes I just need to shut up and let Bill take the baby for a while. Nuf' said.
# 79 - "Don't Get Ahead of Yourself. It's easy to get wrapped up in what's lying ahead--and how that place might be better, easier or more interesting. That's normal. We all skip ahead in parenting books to learn what our baby will be doing next week, and we imagine how exciting that will be. With all that forward-thinking, it can be hard to remember to relish the moment you're in. Try. [Second-time] parents realize that even though there are times that seem painfully slow, the first year really does go quickly. And as soon as [he] stands up on his own, that new baby will disappear before your eyes." Okay, so I'm working on this one.
Yes I'm exhausted but just when I feel like I'm going to blow a fuse he does this:
I need to read that book! I love the rules you've highlighted! I always compare myself to other moms. And I have some friends that are really creative/good with kids and are doing little PRE-preschool activities with their kids all day long. Little crafts and painting and cooking together. And I feel guilty because sometimes I just want to sit on the couch and read Facebook while Oliver pushes his lawnmower around the living room. Is that bad?! Anyway, I really like #61! :-) I wish we lived closer friend...
ReplyDeleteOh friend, you just go right on ahead and say how you're feeling! It's okay, being a parent is hard, being a new parent and sleep deprived is really hard . There are many mundane days, and doing nothing is perfectly okay. You have a precious little guy there, can't wait to meet him and give you a giant hug. xo
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great (and wise) book Jen! It's funny how, as we are preparing for our #2, we already have a list of things we are going to differently. Although sometimes it's hard to say these things out loud, it's also great to get things out in the open (like my last post), but it's comforting to know you are not alone in these thoughts and feelings.
ReplyDeleteI learned #65 early, but will likely have to continue holding my tongue for the rest of our children's lives on that one! Not just the first year. hehehehe :-) #79 is funny - now that LA is 2, I'm actually wishing time would SLOW down and I don't look forward. Wish I could freeze time.