Sam @ 5 months

My boy is no longer an infant! I feel like I can already see glimpses of the little boy he will become. This month more than ever he seems to be learning/growing so quickly (I'm sure I'll say that every month).

I don't have his stats since he doesn't have a doctor appt this month, but I'm guessing he's around 16+ lbs and at least 26 inches long (that's what he measured at 4 months). I know you can't really predict future height until around 2 years, but this kid has big feet and big hands so I'm guessing he'll be tall like his Dad and Grandpa (Bill's Dad).

He is so curious about the world and very aware of his surroundings, dare I say too aware? We were at my parents' house yesterday and Sam screamed each time my Dad would talk to him or try to hold him. Same thing with my brother. When my mom held him he was perfectly fine, but he knows her since she's at my house on a regular basis. He hasn't seen my Dad or brother for a few weeks. Still, I was a bit shocked. I don't know why they scared him so much, but it seems like maybe he has 'stranger' anxiety already? Even though they're not strangers! He is just a very shy, sensitive little guy and very dependent on familiar surroundings and routine. He is not a fan of going to my mother-in-law's house every other week when I'm at work either, so I chalk it up to his need for predictability/routine. Is it too early to worry about that or do we need to help him learn that new places/people are ok and develop some flexibility?

On the other hand, Sam's 'shy' nature is part of what makes him so sweet. He will flash you a smile but then turn away quickly or bury his head in my shoulder. His favorite thing right now is to just lay down, kick his legs, talk to Mom and Dad (well, gurgle), and practice rolling over. He can't quite do it on purpose yet but has accidentally rolled over quite a bit, and seems to enjoy it! Just like most other 5 month olds, he wants to put everything in his mouth, including my face. He also seems to be very interested in what I'm eating and drinking, so I went ahead and bought him a high chair so he can sit at the table with Bill and I, and practice drinking from (an empty) sippy cup. I think he loves it...sitting with the big kids! Will probably start solids soon, though the pediatrician said we could wait until 6 months. He's a little on the conservative side anyway.



We also started putting him in a jogging stroller facing forward, rather than in his carseat facing us. He loves the new view!



Finally, his favorite new buddy is definitely Addie. He seems to have just noticed her the last few weeks, and thinks she's the funniest thing in the world. She's not a big fan of him pulling her fur or tugging her ears, but she puts up with it. I'm sure they'll be inseparable in the future.

Family pics are here!

Pics are up, over here. Thank you Molly!!!!!!!!!!

Ask 5 for 5

If you already received an email from me, I hope that you've taken the time to donate and find 5 friends to help raise funds for the East Africa Famine. If not, I beg you to do it! I have to admit that, even though I work for a humanitarian organization, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and powerless to do anything, and therefore to overlook crises as they come up. But this famine is on such a large scale and the suffering, especially of children, so horrible that I can't ignore it. Of course being a mother now I empathize even more with the parents who are having to watch their children starve to death.

It also helps that I have a brilliant co-worker (in fact my job share partner!) who came up with a simple but effective way to help. Check out Sarah's blog to hear her story and to learn more about the Ask 5 for 5 campaign.

What's New Around Here

Just getting back into the swing of things at work, adjusting to our new routine and enjoying watching Sam grow and change. It's cliche I know, but he's growing right before my eyes! He'll be 5 months next week and I haven't been the best at documenting all the little discoveries and changes, but I'm going to try to do better because I know I'll forget so much (besides just being a rather forgetful person sometimes, it's funny how all my friends seem to have a selective memory of their child's first year)!

Lately Sam has been fascinated with his feet and working really hard to get them in his mouth. I snapped away with the iphone the other day as he was working on project foot in mouth. He has the most expressive eyes and has already mastered the scowl at a young age. He is such a joy and just cracks me up. He's on the verge of rolling over, but hasn't had as much practice as he probably should since we don't give him much tummy or back time. The reflux seems to be slowly improving (fingers crossed) so we should be able to put him down on his back/tummy more often.










We should have some new family photos up soon. Molly was in town last weekend and we were so lucky to have her take our pics. I can't wait to see how they turned out!!

Grandpa Durbin

My grandfather passed away suddenly last night, though he had been sick with prostate cancer for quite some time. He was a tough man. You actually believed him when he would say "I used to walk 5 miles, uphill in the snow to get to school." My relationship with him was uneasy. Alcoholism unfortunately got the best of him more often than not, and created some chaos and damaged relationships in my family. Still, he was trying to make amends in later years and my Dad especially had grown closer to him recently and urged my brother and I to spend more time with him. He knew how much I wanted to start a family and was so happy for me when Sam arrived. That's my Dad, the only son & oldest child, in the picture below.



My Dad wrote all of us a note today with some interesting history about Grandpa Durbin:
Born 4/29/1927 in Devils Lake ND
Served as Radio man in the US Air force from 1945 - 1947. Stationed in Hiroshima shortly after the fall of the atomic bomb.

Married to Clara Belle Winchester on April 29, 1950 in Eugene Oregon. First born Gregory Ross Durbin born in Eugene on 3/8/1951. A sister Debbie followed born in Eugene. Three daughters followed after the family had moved to Great Falls Montana: Rebecca Ann (died 11/5/1987), Diane, and Janet.

Jerry worked some years in the HVAC industry in Great falls, before starting his own shop. He also owned a sea food restaurant, The Seven Seas, in Great Falls which in retrospect, was not a good idea in beef loving Montana.The family moved to Tacoma Washington in 1966, where Jerry worked for National Blower, before he again struck out on his own, and started his own shop.

Jerry grew up on a small farm in North Dakota during the dust bowl and depression years. The family struggled at times to keep food on the table. His farther was forced to kill a cow that he had leased from a local banker. When the banker demanded to know why the cow had been killed and butchered, Jerry's father told him that the family had to eat, lease be damned. The family were devout Catholics, and during the winter months, hitched a horse to a covered sled with a wood stove inside for warmth, and drove to church.

Until the late thirties, they did without mechanized farm equipment and electricity. Jerry's grandfather was a well of farmer who installed the first electric lighting in the county. Powered by large lead/acid batteries in the barn, they were the wonder of the neighborhood. A trip to a restaurant was a treat. Once a year after they sold some of the produce that they grew on the farm in town , they enjoyed a hot beef sandwich in a local cafe. Barn dances were a relief from the hard work and tedium. Jerry and his brother Bob, loved to go together. They danced until midnight, when the dancing stopped for coffee, and not infrequently fist fights between rivals for a lady's attentions. After the coffee and the scuffles, the dancing continued until almost dawn. Jerry and Bob would arrive home to find their father waiting for them in the barn with their work coveralls. They got out of their finery, put on the coveralls and put in a full days work.

The family traveled to Washington following the apple harvest. They earned scarce hard cash picking the apple crop. Jerry learned the habit of hard work on the farm. He worked hard his entire life to provide for his family. His reach sometimes exceeded his grasp, but when he failed, as several business he started did, he dusted himself off, and started again. He and his wife Clara could be generous to a fault. A book keeper who kept the books for him in Montana asked for a loan so he could visit his mother in Arizona. Jerry and Clara loaned him the money, and never heard from him again.

In his latter years, he could be a delightful companion. He was a favorite at the nursing home where he spent his last years. Joking with the staff, admonishing the ladies who complained too much about the food, and making new friends. He wanted to take one of the nurses out to dinner, and protested when he found out that the nursing home rules did not allow it.

A famous movie quote is apropos to his last days: "get busy living, or get busy dying." Jerry got busy living.

Radio Silence

Wow, I looked at the date on my last post - was it really June 2? I guess I've been gone quite a while. There's too much to fill in but suffice to say, it's been a rough couple of months, with some wonderful moments too, but mostly, ugh. Hard.

I love my boy like I've never loved anyone, but he's been a bit of a high maintainence baby. It's not his fault, he has reflux which makes him uncomfortable 75% of the time (it seems), doesn't like to be put on his back or his tummy, can't be put down for 30 minutes after eating and really just wants to be carried around everywhere. I know I had bad heartburn during pregnancy and was very uncomfortable most of the time, so I can only imagine what it's like for a little kiddo who doesn't know what's going on, just that sometimes it hurts to even eat. :( Sleeping? Fah-get about it. He would be up 4-5 times a night, sometimes screaming until he threw up milk that had been in his tummy from the last feed (sorry, gross I know).

So for a while there, I was just to exhausted to do much or go anywhere. I was afraid to go anywhere because Sam would be so fussy & tired during the day. I didn't really clean my house, didn't take showers often enough and just felt like a huge loser. I know this could be considered whining...after all I only have one child and he's not even really 'sick' so how hard can it be? I guess for me, hard! It probably doesn't look that way, since I do happen to get lots of pictures when Sammy is smiling. His smile is the best thing in the world.

The past week really has not been so bad though. Here's what I'm thankful for:
- A sleeping wedge that we got last week, that makes sure Sam's in a comfortable/upright position at night. He (and I) are sleeping MUCH better now (so far... the last 5 nights anyhow).
- The fact that my baby is still gaining weight, smiling and is healthy.
- The fact that most babies outgrow reflux between 6-9 months. Hallelujah!
- The help and support from my family and friends, mostly my mom. She is an angel.
- The fact that I'm going back to work next week. Ok, not really excited about that, but thankful that I have a job and that I only have to work part-time. I think it will be a good break and nice to get out of the house more.

Will update more later, but now I want to go catch up on all my friends' blogs! Sorry I've been MIA. It's not because I don't care. I know there will be ups and downs but I finally feel like I'm coming 'back to life'.

I am loving this book!

I've been spending some quality time with my Kindle this week, reading "How to Have Your Second Child First." It's been somewhat of a trying week and I feel like this book has validated everything I'm experiencing and feeling lately but might not necessarily say out loud; it's encouraging. This is probably just in my head, but I get the feeling sometimes that after the first few months (dare I say weeks?) people expect things to smooth out and get easier (and they DO, in some ways) but I am still figuring all this out and it is still tough! I don't know why but I feel like I should say things are going well when asked "how's it going?" so others don't feel obligated to offer advice and I don't sound like a complainer. Anyway, I digress.

The book is made up not so much of chapters, but 100 different observations and reflections from 2nd (and 3rd and 4th) time parents who did things a little differently after their first child, although I'm guessing any parent who's made it through the first year would say many of the same things. Here are a few that are particularly relevant to me right now:

# 61 - "It's ok for you and baby to "do nothing" all day. You are no longer judged on how much you cross off the to-do list--you are accomplishing a major feat each day that you parent this new person. Hey, if you and your baby have been fed and are reasonably clean, you've done quite enough, thank you."
# 63 - "Parenthood can be extremely boring" (Gasp!) Sometimes it really does feel like Groundhogs day, when you're doing the same things over and over in 3 hour cycles and have little adult conversation. Some days are worse, some days are better.
# 65 - "You and your [husband] don't have to do everything the same way." Yeah, sometimes I just need to shut up and let Bill take the baby for a while. Nuf' said.
# 79 - "Don't Get Ahead of Yourself. It's easy to get wrapped up in what's lying ahead--and how that place might be better, easier or more interesting. That's normal. We all skip ahead in parenting books to learn what our baby will be doing next week, and we imagine how exciting that will be. With all that forward-thinking, it can be hard to remember to relish the moment you're in. Try. [Second-time] parents realize that even though there are times that seem painfully slow, the first year really does go quickly. And as soon as [he] stands up on his own, that new baby will disappear before your eyes." Okay, so I'm working on this one.

Yes I'm exhausted but just when I feel like I'm going to blow a fuse he does this: